Emotional Load
Introduction: You Are Not Alone
Caring for loved ones battling neurological conditions such as Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s can be one of life’s deepest challenges. No one chooses to be alone on this journey. Yet, more often than not, we try to shoulder the burden alone—sometimes enduring it until our last reserves of strength. Maybe you think, "I have to handle this on my own." Or perhaps, "No one will understand." However, asking for help is not a weakness; it's a basic human need. In this article, we’ll explore why caregivers often try to manage alone, why asking for help can feel so difficult, and how seeking support can benefit both you and your loved ones.
Why Is Asking for Help So Hard?
Every day, thousands of people—just like you—put in effort to care for family members with Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s. But even when help is needed, it often goes unrequested. Why is that?
Social and Cultural Expectations: In our society, especially within families where caregiving roles are common, ingrained beliefs like "You must be strong" or "You should manage on your own" are widespread.
Feelings of Guilt: Sometimes, after asking for help, caregivers worry that they’re not doing enough for their loved one or fear criticism from others.
Fear of Burdening Others: The concern of "They’re already busy, why should they deal with my situation too?" makes it hard to reach out to friends or relatives for support.
Personal Feelings of Inadequacy: For some, receiving help might feel like an admission of failure or inadequacy.
Mistrust of Support Resources: Lack of information about professional healthcare services or negative past experiences with volunteer aid can reduce the willingness to seek help.
Many studies show these feelings are widespread among caregivers globally. For example, a 2019 meta-analysis found that over 60% of family caregivers for people with Alzheimer’s struggle to ask for help, but those who do experience significantly less burnout and stress.
The Mental and Emotional Burden of Caregiving
Taking responsibility for a loved one’s care involves extraordinary dedication. Yet sometimes, that devotion leads us to neglect ourselves. Burnout syndrome, chronic stress, depression, and anxiety are common psychological issues, especially among those who provide care alone for extended periods.
Short-term problems like insomnia, restlessness, and fatigue can appear.
In the medium and long term, deeper effects such as social isolation, drifting from friends, neglecting personal health, and a loss of sense of self can emerge.
Scientific studies show that rates of depression and anxiety among caregivers are twice as high compared to the general population (Pinquart & Sörensen, 2007).
"One day, I wanted to say goodbye to everyone. Because they didn't understand or hear my distress. Then I realized I had never tried to share it."
— From the diary of a family member of someone with Alzheimer’s
The Benefits of Getting Help: Not Just for Care, But for Your Own Life
Knowing you are not alone can keep you going, even when you feel powerless. Asking for help improves the quality of life for both the patient and the caregiver. Experts highlight the following benefits of regular social and emotional support:
Managing Stress: Emotional and social support helps lower cortisol, the stress hormone.
Preventing Chronic Fatigue: Having a chance to rest makes it easier for caregivers to stay energetic and healthy.
Preserving Your Identity: Making time for your hobbies and social life helps remind you that your identity is not solely that of a caregiver.
Improved Quality of Care: Adequate rest and morale allow for more patient and higher-quality caregiving.
Benefits for the Patient: Research shows that patients are happier and healthier when cared for by supported, well-rested caregivers compared to those who are exhausted.
Strategies to Make Asking for Help Easier
1. Accept That You Deserve Help
Nobody is obligated to handle everything on their own. It’s a natural, human right to ask for help.
2. Start Clearly and With Small Steps
Requesting small forms of support gives both you and those around you (for example, "Could you help with dinner one night this week?") a chance to get comfortable with the process.
3. Share Your Feelings Openly
Expressing your emotions and needs to those close to you during tough times strengthens relationships.
4. Research Support Resources
Be informed about various support options, such as municipal home care services, volunteer projects by non-profits, and counseling or therapy hotlines.
5. Know Your Own Limits
Being honest with yourself about when you need to rest or take a break will make you mentally stronger.
Social Barriers and Breaking Taboos
Although society’s perspective on asking for help is changing, some taboos remain. Especially in elder care, beliefs like "Taking care of our family is our responsibility, outsiders can’t be trusted," or "Don’t let strangers care for your loved ones" are still common.
However, in developed societies, respite and support services for caregivers are considered both ethical and practical standards. Over time, this shift enables caregivers to stay more connected, productive, and healthy.
Small Acts of Support Make a Big Difference
When we say help, we don't necessarily mean only major financial or professional support. Studies show that short periods spent with a family member, a sincere conversation with a friend, or even a neighbor picking up a few items at the store can reduce caregiver stress.
When a friend offers to help, accept the opportunity.
Create a breathing space for yourself; this could be a one-hour walk or a short coffee break.
You Are Not Alone: Stories and Togetherness
Many caregivers say that after reluctantly seeking support at some point, they later thought, "I wish I had asked for help sooner." Remember, giving others the chance to help and share their experiences not only aids your healing but supports theirs as well. Better care is possible without isolation.
"One day I set down my oars. Another hand touched the water. That moment I realized, the journey is beautiful when shared."
— Shared by a caregiver
Conclusion: We Are Stronger Together
On this difficult caregiving journey, you, too, have the right to breathe, to care for your own health and emotions. Trust that there are people around you waiting to help. You don’t have to do everything alone; asking for help is a step that will benefit both you and your loved ones.
Resources
Pinquart, M., & Sörensen, S. (2007). Correlates of physical health of informal caregivers: A meta-analysis. The Journals of Gerontology Series B: Psychological Sciences and Social Sciences, 62(2), P126-P137.
Brodaty, H., & Donkin, M. (2009). Family caregivers of people with dementia. Dialogues in clinical neuroscience, 11(2), 217–228.
Alzheimer's Association. (2022) 2022 Alzheimer's Disease Facts and Figures.
Bir Sonraki Okuma
